Healing the Heart - Forgiving the Unforgiveable by Sharon Taphorn

[Sharon Taphorn]

Healing the Heart – Forgiving the Unforgiveable
by Sharon Taphorn published at www.okinhealth.com June Magazine

Forgiveness is choosing to love. It is the first skill of self-giving love ~Mahatma Gandhi

Letting go of anger and resentment, and feeling yourself healed is such an important gift we can give ourselves. When we hold unforgiveness in our hearts, we only punish ourselves. You may be perfectly justified in feeling angry, yet, look at the high price you pay to your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self, being the vessel of anger.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean, “What you did is okay to me”. It means, “I am no longer willing to carry around pain in response to your actions.” Forgiveness assists us in releasing and surrendering energy and emotions that often stand in the way of allowing ourselves to experience peace, balance, joy, and oftentimes, healthy balanced relationships, especially those relationships that involve our heart energy.

Beginning the journey to forgiveness is often the most difficulty. We can identify ourselves by that situation or circumstance, and we become comfortable with that energy while at the same time wishing we didn’t have to bare the pain our hearts feel.
One of the tools I used to process and heal through and forgive myself during a time in my life when I knew I needed to work through many of the situations from my past in order to be able to move forward with a clean slate so to speak. I had been on a leave from my job. I had felt overwhelmed by so much that had happened in my life, and I needed to take time away from the world and figure things out. I was really not the type of person who shared what was happening on a personal level, although I was often the coffee table counselor for many a friend. I had a wonderful medical doctor at the time that encouraged self and holistic approaches to healthcare rather than masking the symptoms with drugs and she encouraged me to explore my feelings. I wasn’t really sure how to begin this journey, only that I needed to do something. I remember very clearly hearing a voice say to me to begin to move, so I did. I took the dog for a walk and began to move. I knew I could do the next 5 minutes, so I began taking life 5 minutes at a time. I knew I had to move forward doing something different than I had done before, because doing the same things I did before, only led to more of the same – the Universal Law of Attraction working at its finest – Energy flows were your attention goes.

As I began to feel better, 5 minutes at a time, I spent a lot my time journaling, and in meditation, trying to sort out all of the thoughts, feelings and emotions. Being naturally sensitive to thoughts feelings and emotions of others, I had to first figure out what was mine and what stuff belonged to others and it wasn’t necessary for me to even process, I just had to release them. I tried reading a few books; however I would read a few pages and move on to another. I found that I really needed to figure out my own way of processing through this quagmire of feelings, thoughts and emotions.

As time progressed, I began to realize that what I truly needed to do was release and forgive myself, not necessarily those who I felt had betrayed or hurt me, but myself. I had to forgive myself for not trusting my instinct, for allowing myself to be vulnerable and loved, and that it was okay to be a trusting, loving being, no matter what.

One of the processing techniques I was guided to use, I called the Gifting Process, a technique that allows you to work through and release any thoughts of unforgiveness that are holding you back from living a life filled with peace, love and joy, to living in our natural state of beingness.


The Gifting Process

When we release old habits, beliefs, and unwanted emotions, we free up our bodies to receive new energy. This is a process I used to let go people and circumstances in my life that no longer served me and I wanted to see complete. The burden of caring around the past can make you weary. It is time to keep only the lessons and the love, and leave everything else behind. Let anger and resentment go, and feel yourself healed. You don’t need to forgive the action, just the person – so that you can be at peace.

Make a list of all the people, situations and events that you would like to clear. You can start a few at a time if this seems overwhelming at first.

Write a letter to each person or event for each situation you want to transform and heal. Forgiveness does not mean, “What you did is okay to me. I am no longer willing to carry around pain in response to your actions.” When we hold unforgiveness in our hearts, we only punish ourselves. Release unforgiveness through these letters. Put every emotion, thought and feeling into this letter. When you are done, you can either create a ceremony and burn the letters, cleanse them by water (immerse them in a bucket filled with water), or if you choose, you can even mail some of them to people who you truly love and will be healed by your forgiveness.

See only love – When you focus on love everything else falls away. Your resolute focus upon the love that underlies every situation brings about healing in undreamed of ways.

Hold the vision of yourself healed and whole, feel yourself balanced and at peace, for that is truly what is important. As you heal your own heart, the brightness that you begin to radiate allows others to be courageous enough to move forward and begin their journey of healing back to Love.

Sharon Taphorn is an international teacher, healer, author, mystic and guardian of Mother Earth. She is here at this time to guide and assist humanity through this great awakening. She shares her wisdom, spirit, and passion around the world through her various Radio programs on The Shift Radio (www.theshiftradio.com), as well as offers a variety of workshops on Healing, Expanding Consciousness, Meditation and Spiritual Growth. Personal Sessions and information at www.playingwiththeuniverse.com

[Sarah]

thank you for sharing this

that is exactly what I need right now to keep going through my life review

luv Sarah

[Susan Joseph]

you never cease to amaze me on sharing your wisdom in the area I am needing most. Much gratitude to you for you being you!!! Love and Light,namaste Susan

[Erin Michelle]

as i've stumbling on some of these techniques myself, i found out that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. the brightness you radiaite gives me courage. thank you! Sharon.
love, erin

[Joe faulkner]

I echo the other comments and am also amazed at the appropriateness of the article and the message at this time in my life it is such a relief and comfort to know others feel as you do . \thank you Sharon
namaste Joe

[Kathrin Marx]

Thanks for posting this. As a Forgiveness Coach and Journey Practitioner I want to add some considerations and further information for anyone intersted.
There are more and more aspects of applied forgiveness that become known i.e. forgiveness as a most important element in the healing of cancer and other degenerative diseases. Whilst I appreciate the intentionality in what you suggest I want to add an imporant caveat: Trying to forgive because you understand the benefits might fall somewhat short of the goal. It is not the mental process so much as the release of the energy. If you have been hurt that pain left an energetic stamp in the cells of your body somewhere... Healing involves facing/ experiencing the pain in the body by allowing the energy to move through us... Since it is easy to commit a 'spiritual bypass' by doing these processes from the mind - (!) the trauma is likely to remain in the cellular memory of our body and we might have to deal with the energy again at a later date...
"Radical Forgiveness" is taking traditional forgiveness (letting go, forgive and forget etc.) an significant step further. When you assume that everyone who hurt you was giving you what you needed for an integration of your projected shadow material you will see that you have nothing to forgive... The method of the letters is great as is the ritual of burning - In R.F. we write three letters to a person. The first expresses the raw anger and accusation... the next two are gradually incorporating a reframe so you discover and redress the balance and take responsibility for what happened as well. (We never send any of them to anyone.)
I recommend Colin Tipping's book on Radical Forgiveness or google The Journey by Brandon Bays, which is a great process to get at repressed cell memories. I hope this is useful.
Namaste

[Lynn Fishman R.N.]

Sharon,

Wonderful advice, Sharon. We all need to forgive and heal in one way or another. I do believe that a lot of inner creative energy is released in this way. Besides, one day we will leave all behind, so we might as well try and clean the slate beforehand.

I especially like your line, "take the lessons and the love and leave the rest behind." Well said!

Blessings,
Lynn

[Josephine]

Thanks a lot for sharing Sharon.

Our consciousness is filled with enriching ideas and enriching thoughts of service, thoughts of what more we can do, to improve ourselves, to improve our lives, and the lives of others.

[michael morales]

Thank you so much dearheart for this wonderful share,it makes a lot of sense,and brings us back to the truth of who we really are love expressed in a beautiful bubble of biology, Namaste my dear friend, In love and light always Michael

[Margery Bambrick]

Thank you Sharon for this post.
I have found that by writing things down and burning them or cleansing them in water is so healing and advised someone to do this just last night before I read your post!I also advised them to walk, especially near water which is something I do when I feel a need to clear my head.

Thank you for this piece of syncronicity!I am sure this post shall help a lot of people find a way to move on to a much happier path.

May you have a day full of love,light and happiness.

Love Margery.X.X